


Manners Maketh Man

by Geekygirl24



Series: The Caffery Family [2]
Category: Inception (2010), James Bond (Craig movies), Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, White Collar
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family Fluff, Harry and Eames are brothers, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 08:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3603258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geekygirl24/pseuds/Geekygirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eames is having a reunion with his brother and his family...what could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Colin Firth and Tom Hardy as brothers....my mind is weird. This will be multiple chaptered, so keep an eye out and please review :)

“Why are we doing this again?” Arthur rolled his eyes at the question, carefully straightening Eames’s tie,

“Because you haven’t seen your brother in a while and it’s good to catch up. Also, I believe that he and his husband have two children of their own now, and ours need someone other than each other to play with.”

“…How do you know my brother had kids?”

“Merlin and I were discussing it”

“You’re in contact with my brother’s husband?!”

“Of course, how do you think we arranged all this, now go get Quentin ready. I asked him to get his clothes over half an hour ago!”

Arthur shook his head as Eames stormed off…it was like looking after three children instead of two. There was a knock on the door, and upon opening it, two older gentlemen were revealed with children peeking out from behind their legs. Arthur smiled as he stepped aside,

“Harry, Merlin, nice to see you again” Harry smiled back,

“And you Arthur…” he looked around, “…Am I to assume my dear brother is hiding somewhere?”

“He’s just fetching our youngest, speaking of which, who are these two hanging off your pant legs Merlin?”

Just as Arthur finished, the boy ran up to him and held out his hand, pulling the girl along with him,

“Hi, I’m Eggsy! This is Roxy!” Arthur chuckled at the young man’s enthusiasm and gently shook his hand,

“I’m Arthur, it’s very nice to meet you Eggsy”

Harry smiled slightly at Eggsy’s enthusiasm as Merlin gestured behind Arthur,

“And who might that be?” Arthur span around to see Neal standing in the doorway, nervously readjusting his tie. Waving him over, Arthur turned back to Merlin,

“This is our eldest, Neal”

“Pleased to meet you” Neal greeted, smiling cheerily as he shook hands with the other family, his earlier nervousness gone. Before Arthur could offer the four a drink, Eames strode in not noticing his older brother and his family. His attention was primarily on Quentin who was burying his face into Eames’s shoulder.

“He’d fallen asleep hadn’t ya kiddo?!” Eames laughed at his son’s muffled grumble, stopping in his tracks when he saw Harry,

“Harry.”

“Th-“

“Eames! If you can call him Merlin, you can call me Eames!” Arthur rolled his eyes at the standoff before gesturing to the door,

“Shall we gentlemen?” Merlin seemed to agree as he ushered the children out of the door until only Harry, Eames and a sleepy Quentin were in the room. Eames bowed mockingly,

“After you Your Highness”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there's one thing Harry can't abide...it's bad manners and homophobes

The group entered the small restaurant a little after two, Eames limping slightly from the sharp kick his brother had inflicted after the sarcastic comment in the hotel.

“This will suit our needs quite well…” began Harry as they sat down at a large table, “….Quiet, it very rarely gets busy and certainly not at this time.” As the adults began to make conversation, Eggsy babbled to Neal, telling him all about how he came to live with Harry and Merlin, with Roxy chiming in occasionally.

“...Dean was a wanker anyway!”

“Gary Unwin!” scolded Harry,

“It’s true!” Merlin rolled his eyes, causing Arthur to chuckle. As Harry and Eggsy argued, Merlin felt as though he was being watched. Glancing to the side, he noticed Quentin staring at him, large green eye magnified by his glasses.

“Can I help you?” chuckled Merlin, lowering his head as Quentin held his hands up. Suddenly his glasses were yanked off his face, and Quentin became to examine them carefully,

“They’re glasses kid….” Laughed Eames as he caught sight of Merlin’s shocked face, “…You have your own!”

Quentin ignored him and continued to examine the glasses for a few minutes more, before grinning and turning to Merlin and Harry,

“It’s a camera!” Merlin seemed shocked for a moment as he gently retrieved his glasses before breaking out into a wide smile,

“He’s a genius!” He faced Arthur, “You never mentioned that in our conversations!” Harry frowned at this,

“You been talking with my brother’s partner?!” Both Merlin and Arthur rolled their eyes at this as Neal began to help the younger children choose something from the menu…something that wasn’t just a dessert.

“Well, well, well…” The children quietened as the adults tensed at the voices, “looks like the fag parade’s come early boys” Harry’s grip tightened slightly on his umbrella as a group of men blocked them into the booth.

“Where’d you bloody poofs get the high class rent boy then?!” One man exclaimed gesturing rudely at a clearly furious Arthur…not that Eames was much better

“My Pops is not a rent boy!” yelled Neal, as he was held down firmly by Harry. The men just laughed,

“Sure ‘e ain’t…tell you wot though. In a few years’ time, it’ll be your pretty eyes around Smith Street corner. Fags can’t raise kids, not without turning ‘em-AAH SHIT!” The men fell to one knee as a trainer came out of nowhere and kicked him in the shin. 

“Don’t call ‘em that you wankers!” Eggsy yelled, hands clenched into fists as the man swore and his friends sneered.

“Now, now Eggsy…” scolded Harry as he lifted his son off the floor and placed him next to a shaking Quentin, “…we’ve talked about your foul language before. I blame you, you know…” Harry mock frowned at Merlin, who simply shrugged before making sure that the children were in the middle section of the booth, where the group couldn’t get to them without going through the adults.

“Now gentlemen…” Harry turned to face the men, “…me and my family simply want to have a nice meal in peace. Now the children have been behaving and there has been no inappropriate behaviour. Now, would you kindly leave us in peace so that we can have a nice meal, or will I be forced to call the manager?”

The clear leader of the group scoffed and stared at Harry, who was calmly staring back,

“You better stay clear of this Grandpa, or you’ll get hurt as well…” Harry sighed as he rose, gently pushing past the men. As he walked towards the door, one of the men made a terrible mistake,

“That’s right, walk on fag. We’ll take care of the others.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is p****d...run!

Merlin, Eames and Arthur tensed…not out of fear for themselves or the children you understand, but of how much it will cost the restaurant to clean up after Harry has finished with the group. Harry sighed, his hands moving to the locks upon the main entrance,

“Manners…” CLICK “…Maketh….” CLICK “…Man” The men turned their backs on the family,

“Do you know what that means?” Harry asked, carefully watching the reflections of the group in a nearby plaque,

“Then let me teach you a lesson…” In one swift movement, Harry used the handle of his umbrella to fling a glass at the leader’s head. He was unconscious before he even hit the ground. Harry strode up the remaining members of the group, as the children looked on in awe.

“Are we going to stand around here all day…or are we going to fight?!” Another member threw a punch, which was effortlessly deflected with the umbrella, diverting it to hit another man. 

“Awesome!” yelled Eggsy as a tooth flew across the room and bodies began hitting the floor at an alarming rate,

“He’s gotta teach me that!” laughed Neal, as Harry used the umbrella to knock the men out, take their legs out from under them and restrain them,

“How did you get the electwical, magnetic cuff into the umbrella?” Quentin asked Merlin as Harry methodically took the men out one by one, sometimes using their friends’ heads. The adults weren’t particularly interested in Harry’s fighting prowess…they were wincing every time a table was smashed or a glass was shattered.

The children’s glee only increased when the umbrella turned out to be bullet-proof and held other weaponry that knocked the leader out once again,

“Papa, can you get me an umbrella please…and a watch please?” asked Quentin to Arthur, as Harry quickly wiped the bar managers memory,

“No…I shudder at the thought of whatever destruction you’ll cause ‘improving’ an umbrella and a watch. Paris is still recovering from the periscope incident…”

Harry silently sat back down,

“Sorry about that, I just needed to let off some steam” Merlin and Eames rolled their eyes and muttered to themselves in unison,

“Show-off” “Show-off”

“When I grow up, I want to be a Kingsman!” cheered Eggsy,

“Me too!” 

“And me!”

“Me three!” Arthur groaned as the children began to yell and push each other in a friendly manner,

“I told you this was a bad idea…” whispered Eames jokingly as Arthur tried to get them to settle down.

“I thought you were the troublesome sibling…” Arthur as Merlin smirked at the pair,

“That wasn’t even the worst of it…you should have been there for the Lisbon incident! Harry-“

“They don’t need to know about that love” interrupted Harry as he gently encouraged the children to put their coats on as the restaurant wasn’t really suitable anymore. Merlin winked slyly at Arthur,

“He requires constant supervision now if he has to go there. It’s easier to send Lancelot…”

“The police were overly sensitive, that’s all” Arthur and Eames couldn’t help but laugh, maybe family wasn’t so bad after all.


End file.
